The Detective, the God, and the Joker
by Stella Crescendoll
Summary: What happens what Light and L encounter an extraordinarily bright girl with a bit of an odd pass time? Chaos, fights of all kinds, and unexpected twists!
1. She's got it all figured out

I'm so happy! This is my first post on ever! All of you who read this must review before I continue this story! This story will be nothing without the opinion of it's readers (however few there maybe...)! So, please, review and comment!!

~ Stella Crescendoll

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L looked at Light with curiosity. They had been chained together for about ten days now and Light hadn't opened up at all, in fact, he had done the exact opposite and shut himself off from the detective. He sighed and looked back at the computer screen, continuing his search on websites set up by teens completely devoted to Kira. He continued to scroll down the page, seeing that it was more of a blog than an actual information source. Chuckling, he thought, amuse me, teen population of Japan, what -do- you think of Kira? Many comments were by teens stating that Kira should kill their teachers for assigning so much homework or their parents for grounding them before a big school event. He shook his head and was about to maneuver away from the page when he read a comment by a female user.

"I think Kira would be a boy, not a girl, girl's are too bitchy and would abuse that power to get back at somebody. No, no, no, no, definitely a boy. I bet he's really hot too, but totally misunderstood, probably mature for his age as well, not even focusing on everything that all the other kids in his class are."

L looked over at Light, reread the description, and laughed. It fit him to a tee!

"Okay, I wanna know something," Light pushed his chair away from the desk and swiveled to look at L dead on, "why do you keep staring at me? And now you're laughing! What's up?"

"Oh, it's nothing," L closed the window. "But I would like to ask you a few questions. Do you think Kira would be a girl?"

"No way, she would use that power to get revenge on something stupid, so no, absolutely not." No hesitation, huh? L grinned, "Okay, do you consider yourself attractive or…hot?" Light looked at him strangely, "Umm…I've been told so, but I don't think I am…"

"Okay, what about misunderstood? Or mature for your age?"

"Mature I'll agree with, but I'm not sure about misunderstood…" L nodded and both males sat in silence for some time.

"Wait, why are you asking?"

"Oh, no reason, Light-kun, just something I read on a blog, that's all…" There was a brief moment of silence before Light kicked L's rolling chair away from the desk and quickly accessed his browser's history. L tried his best to use the chain to get back over to Light, but failed and had to get up and run. By the time he had reached the auburn haired teen, the window of the blog was already open and he was staring at the post.

"Who wrote this?"

"How should I know?"

"Well," began Light, placing a hand on his hip inquisitively, "you are the greatest detective in the world, aren't you?"

"Right, so that gives me the right to just track down anybody I please just because of some silly post?"

"Oh, I'm sure you've done worse." L opened his mouth for a rebuttal, but quickly closed it, reflecting on all the things that he'd done to close a case. Light clicked on the girls' username and was quickly directed to her profile page. He scanned it, reading all about her interests, her age, and about her family. He finally got to her job and he almost fell backwards.

"What is it, Light-kun?"

"Her…her job! It's…" He pointed to the spot, and as L leaned forward to read it, his face acquired a pink hue.

"It says…professional cosplayer/maid." L looked at Light, "She works at a maid café?"

"Or, possibly, a cosplay café," said Light, leaning on the desk next to L. L sat in his chair and sipped his tea, "So, she's somewhere in Japan, that much is for sure."

"Wait, how do you know that?"

"Didn't you read the location of her work place? It says Maiden Road. That is only special to Japan." Light nodded, "Okay, but there can be dozens of cosplay or maid cafés in that district alone!"

"Which is why," said L while he opened a program and began to type rapidly, "I'm going to trace the IP address to the computer."

"Because that's totally legal!"

"I'm L. I can do what I please." A small beep from the computer signified that the search was done.

"Alright, let's go pay our blogger a visit, shall we?"

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So? How was the first chapter? Good, hopefully...  
Alright, so, I've seen this done on other fanfictions...  
I already have the next character figured out, her personality, her clothing, all that jazz. Everything but her name. You guys have to give me an awesome name! One that's elegant, strong, beautiful, and personifies the word "strange". Please? Thanks!!  
~ Stella Crescendoll


	2. I hear the voice, but where's the face?

Hey guys!

As you can see, this is the second chapter! *hooray!* Please enjoy!!

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Several people leaned out of their doorways and windows to get a better look at the shiny, black Rolls Royce as it pulled to the curb outside of a normal, suburban home in Missouri. Light stretched as he got out of the luxury vehicle and yawned, "I know you wanted to track her down, but really? All the way to America…"

"It's not like you had anything better to do, Light-kun," L shot back as he hopped out of the car.

"Ooh, cranky, are we?"

"Shut up. My sugar levels are considerably low," spat the detective as he pulled a handful of Jolly Ranchers from his pocket, unwrapping three and shoving them in his mouth. The odd couple walked up the pathway to the front door, rang the doorbell, and waited for ten seconds before the door was opened by a girl. She was too old to be in high school, but not old enough to be in college. She scoffed, "You must be one of her friends."

"Her?" Light inquired, peeking inside the door slightly.

"Yeah, my little sister. Doesn't matter though, she's not here." She began to close the door when L stuck his bare foot between the door and the frame.

"I'm sorry, but do you know where she went?"

"No, and I don't care." L took his foot back, "Now, listen here, we came all the way from Japan just to see-"

"She's not here! Just go away!" With this, the girl slammed the door in their faces. L stood with a somewhat appalled look on his face.

"That…that bitch! Does she know who I am?"

"Obviously not, but we need to go if we're going to find her," Light said, gently tugging the stunned detective back to the Rolls Royce.

"Well, we know that she's a liar. She said that she worked on Maiden Road, but she lives in America."

"Yes, very interesting and very obvious, Light. We need to know where she is right now…driver," L leaned forward slightly, "do you know of anything happening today? Particularly anime related, perhaps?" The driver thought, "Yes. I believe that there is a convention nearby."

"Excellent, take us there."

"You do know the probability of us finding her in an environment like that is-"

"Highly likely, Light-kun. If she enjoys anime as much as her profile led us to believe, she will be there." Light shrugged and slouched in his seat. He was tired after the flight and every time he had tried to fall asleep on the flight or in any of the time spent in the car, L would continuously kick him until he woke up and showed no sign of slipping into a nap.

"Light-kun, why would someone in America, let alone a teenager, be so interested in Japan's affairs?" Silence. "…Light-kun?" L looked over to catch the rare glimpse of a sleeping, completely vulnerable Light Yagami. The way he was sleeping made him look younger than he acted, like any normal teen boy would look like. L could feel his face heat and his palms sweat. As he quickly turned to look out the window, he questioned himself for the first time in a long time. Did he like Light-kun more than a friend? He pushed the question from his mind as the convention came into view. It was hard to miss, full of noise, colors, and oddly dressed people.

Light was having a pleasant dream. He was back in Japan, judging criminals from an extremely classy room, Misa was not part of his life as far as he could tell, and L was calling from the next room. Light calmly got up from his chair and walked over to the door frame, the plush carpet muffling his footsteps, the smell of fresh cake lingering in the air. As he turned the corner, he expected to the see the detective sitting on the couch in his odd little manner, enjoying some strawberry shortcake, but instead saw the detective sprawled out on a large bed with silk sheets, only wearing jeans that were unbuttoned. Light woke up with a start and tried to sit up, but was blocked by something warm and sweet.

L had been poking Light and gently calling his name to wake him up, each time he got louder and a little closer to Light's face. When he was just inches away from the teen's face, he yelled his name and Light woke up with a gasp. L hadn't predicted this and was still extremely close to the boy's face when he did this. Both males sat in complete surprise, not even noticing that they were kissing. L broke away first, terribly embarrassed and quickly opened the door and jumped out, pulling a very confused Light with him.

"Well," said L, clearing his throat to regain his composure, "Here we are…the convention."

"Yeah…convention…" Light was dazed and snapped out of his trance when a girl wrapped her arms around him and said, "You're cute! My friend would absolutely love you!"

"What?"

"She would, wouldn't she?" Another girl had appeared and had forcefully grabbed L's hand and arm, leading him, and consequently Light as well, away from the mass of cosplayers. Both girls were dressed in long gray coats and black pants that ended half way down their shins. Their shoes were sandals that showed their toes and heels, but went up above the ankle and ended. They wore white and red masks that resembled a cat.

"Where are we going?" L questioned as the girl squeezed his hand tighter.

"To introduce you to our friend, silly! Where else would we be going?" Light began to fight back as soon as he saw the van they were leading them to, L catching on a bit later.

"Hey! What are you doing?!" Light tried to pry himself away from the girl, but she had a freakish strength about her. Two other children wearing similar outfits to the girls' had opened the back doors to the van. The girls' pushed Light and L into the van with the strength a full grown body builder would have. They took their masks and costumes off in one smooth motion before closing the doors. One girl had vibrant green hair, wore a black leotard with a bright yellow tutu, pink and black striped stockings and black ballet slippers. The other had jet black hair, wore a red wife-beater, black baggy camo pants which were tucked into black combat boots splattered with neon paint of all colors. The only thing they had in common were that their eyes were purple and their faces were of that of a clown's.

"The boss will be pleased with this catch," the girls' said at the same time. L kicked the latch in a desperate attempt to open it, but it was locked tight. Light rammed all of his weight against the door repeatedly. The sound of their heavy panted and the dull metallic ringing was drowned out by crackling of a PA system.

"Oh, joy! You've been found! I noticed you snooping around on my profile the other day, so I decided to meet you in person. And, so you don't attract any attention to my lovely van, you're going to take a little nap!" The PA cut off and was replaced by the sound of hissing as a purple-pink gas filled the van. Both Light and L coughed and sputtered before passing out on the floor.

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Alright, there was a little Naruto reference in there, and just to clear things up, I do _not _own either Naruto or Death Note!

~Stella Crescendoll


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